Social Media Profile Pictures: The Meaning Behind Them

Picking your profile picture for a social networking website like Facebook, MySpace, or Twitter can sometimes be a difficult task because it can often times tell a lot about the type of person you are. Over the past few years, being a member of these sites, I have started to notice a lot about the types of pictures people use. The staple profile picture is definitely a cropped picture of yourself from another picture that you think you look decent in. You can’t go wrong with that type of picture because you’re just showing your “natural” you. You also get the other staple pictures like the…

The “Classic Webcam” Profile Picture

The “I’m Super Artsy” Profile Picture

The “Take a Picture in the Mirror” Profile Picture

The “I Went Somewhere Cool” Profile Picture

The “I Don’t Have Much of a Life so I Scanned My High School Picture” Profile Picture

I have no problem with any of those types of profile pictures because there is not much to them and no hidden agenda behind them. However, I have started to notice some peculiar trends in some people’s pictures that should raise red flags to everyone. I feel as if it is my duty to let these people know that they are not fooling anyone, and if they are I must uncover the truth. If you are one of these people that post these types of profile pictures, please let me explain…

The “Hey Look At My Boobs” Profile Picture
Boobies, fun bags, knockers, jugs, hooters, melons, rack, tatas, chi chis, breasteses, tig ol bitties… or whatever else you want to call them, some girls are constantly trying to show them off in their profiles, but acting like “its not their intention” to do so. Take these examples…

1) What she wants us to think: Hey I just so happen to have this cute picture of me tying my shoes.
What we are thinking: You found the lowest cut shirt you had, adjusted the twins so they’re just about to fall out, pulled out the digital camera, and put the self timer on to take this picture.

2) What she wants us to think: Just extending my arm and taking a picture of myself!
What we are thinking: We know you took this pic 5-6 times to get that perfect cleavage angle!

3) What she wants us to think: I’m God’s gift to men and I’m just putting on some lip gloss.
What we are thinking: Yeah okay you are decent looking and do have some boobs, but we all know that you definitely have an STD… or 2… or 8.

The bottom line: All in all, no matter how much we may knock you for this type of pic, you’re gonna end up with 1000x more friends / followers than the rest of us.

The “I’m Tough” Profile Picture
Guys are little bit more upfront about showing off their assets than the girls. They get right to the point like these guys…

1) What he is thinking: Me’s gots some nice abs, I’s got to show these babies off.
What we are thinking: Hey nice abs………. douche bag.

2) What he is thinking: I’m ripped and all the tweenies will think I’m hot.
What we are thinking: Must call “Dateline: To Catch a Predator” ASAP

3) What he is thinking: I’ve got some big guns.
What we are thinking: Too bad its not muscle.

The bottom line: Any guy that blatantly is trying to show off his goods is only going to make girls think you’re a bigger toolbox than you already are.

The “Cartoon” Profile Picture
In this type of profile the person simply posts a picture of something like Homer Simpson, a character from South Park, Felix the Cat, etc.

What they want us to think: The Simpsons are my favorite! I’m fun and like cartoons!
What it really means: You look like Sloth from The Goonies.

The bottom line: Everybody is born with their own physical uniqueness, so accept who you are and post your “real” picture. (After you take some Photoshop classes)

The “Couple” Profile Picture
Awwww, what a cute couple… These types of pictures are of the person and their significant other. However, there can be a few reasons why the person chose to put this picture up. That’s why at a first glance, in a few select cases, you cannot hate people that choose to go this route in their picture choice (i.e. note #1 and #2). On the otherhand, sometimes toolbags try to get through the cracks. For example…

1) Girl - I love my boyfriend, he is so fun and funny!!! I want all my friends to know how lucky I am. *However, in reality all her friends despise and hate her that she has somebody and they don’t.
2) Guy - My girlfriend is a psycho bitch, logged into my account and put this picture up. A couple days later, I changed my picture and she totally flipped out saying I don’t want other girls to know I’m taken. After all said and done, I keep this picture up to make the world a more peaceful place.
3) Guy – HOLY CRAP, I have a girlfriend! We’ve only been dating for 3 days and I think I love her. Her boobs are totally touching my chest. I need to let the world know!
4) Guy – I’ve never talked to a girl in my life until I asked this girl, that is way out of league, to take a picture with me so now I need to post it so people think this is my hot girlfriend! (However please note , I think this guy failed to realize that this “girl” could quite possibly be a man. You can kind of tell by the masculine facial structure…. and oh yeah the BULGE in “it’s” pants.)

The bottom line: Unless you’re married, not need to post a couple’s pic.

The “Check Me Out, I’m Drinking ALCOHOL” Profile Picture
Predominantly used by freshman, the people in these pictures want to make it known that they’re “cool” now because they drink alcohol…

1) What he wants us to think: Look I’m totally chugging 2 bottles of beer, I’m like totally crazy now!
What we are thinking: Wow, you’re cool… Ball 4.
2) What she wants us to think: I’m not that dorky band nerd that you guys knew in high school. I drank 3 beers and got totally wasted at this party.
What we are thinking: Wow, you’re still not cool. Ball 4.
3) What he wants us to think: Hey look at me, I know how to have a good time.
What we are thinking: We know you just got done playing computer games for 14 hours, found this red cup, and took a picture of yourself so people don’t think you’re as lame as you really are. Oh yeah… Ball 4.

The bottom line: Unless you’re an alcoholic (in which case you would naturally have alcohol in your hand), stay away from posting these pics.

The “I’m a Gangsta” Profile Picture
Deep down in all of our hearts, we’d all love to be gangsta, but the bottom line is, if you don’t have a minimum of 15 tattoos, 2 gold teeth, 10 pounds of cocaine in the trunk of your stolen car, and the name on your birth certificate reads “Slim Thug”… you’re not a gangsta. So why do people always try to play it off like they’re gangsta in their profile pictures? Flashing fingers, by no means, means people will think you’re gangsta. Here is why these people would miserably fail Gangsta 101 class…

1) Scrawny, white boys wearing an American Eagle polo is far from gangsta.
2) Guys wearing their girlfriends Dolce and Gabana sunglasses aren’t gangsta.
3) Check out the video below. Enough said… .

The “I’m the Ugly Friend so I Put Up a Picture of My Group of Friends and Me So That You Don’t Know Which One I Am and Hopefully Mistaken Me for One of My Hot Friends and Will Want to Talk to Me” Profile Picture.

Enough said.

The bottom line: Reference the “Cartoon” Profile Picture’s bottom line.

Please comment with any other observations on the types of profile pictures you have been noticing…

Back in the Groove (well sorta…)

I just realized something about myself that I never put together before… I figured out that the best way to motivate myself to do something, is by putting a deadline on when that something has to be done.

With this epiphany, I signed up for the Chicago marathon again tonight. Considering the last mile I ran was the last mile of last years marathon, I had to do something to set my mind on a goal to work towards. So yeah, I’m excited to start training again.

With that said, I immediately drew up my workout mileage calendar for the next 8 months. For those of you interested, and thinking about taking on the challenge yourself, I will post the calendar below. This is truly a beginner’s marathon training plan because you only start off by running 1 mile for the first few weeks.

Chicago Marathon Training Calendar

Side note: I advise to supplement this training program with weight lifting 3-4 times a week. Also, cross-train every Sunday for 45 minutes to an hour.

Best Superbowl Commercial

In my opinion, the #1 commercial goes to Careerbuilder, hands down. Hilarious!!

One of my favorite quotes…

Sharpie Ad

Some of us have a fascination with graffiti art, and we sometimes even look over our shoulders to make sure no one’s watching when we scratch out our initials in a freshly laid slab of cement – or carve them into a wooden desk – or even scribble profanities across the stall door in a public restroom.

The creative minds working for Sharpie, have discovered a way to satiate our desires to deface public domain. Interactive e-cast billboards have been scattered around cities, which allow people to experience the rush of creating their own graffiti. Choose some colors, write a message and Sharpie makes it possible for anyone to take part in this cleverly designed ad.

Random Scar Story

I have 2 scars on my upper arm and back that I like to say I got from being in a knife fight with a group of pirates, but the real story behind them is from my freshman year in college…

In my dorm, there was a huge window in the hallway (maybe like 10 feet high by 20 feet wide) that looked into the study room. Well, one night I was walking past it with a couple of my friends, and inside the study room was this gigantic volleyball player girl that I didn’t like. Straddling this behemoth monster, was a guy 2 feet shorter than her, and they were making out.

I told my friends “watch this I’m going to scare the crap out of them”.

I planned on lightly jumping up against the window to startle them, however, not realizing that is not the smartest thing for a post pubescent, fully grown adult to do, I ended up going through the window.

Needless to say, I did scare the crap out of them… but I also ended up in the hospital getting stitched up.

Why Music is Incredible

Music is one of the most incredible things on this earth. It has a magical power behind it that is very hard to explain, yet so easy to feel. Whether you are conscious of it or not, music brings us on a magic carpet ride through the different phases of our lives. In the present, we enjoy the melodies that dance throughout our ears. Sometimes we make a conscious link between the lyrics we hear, and the obstacles we are currently facing. We try to find songs that we feel like are talking directly to us. Other times, we simply enjoy the moment, and let the music that surrounds us seep into our pores and souls…

Eventually this whirlwind of music that is constantly oozing into us, shapes us… day by day, year by year. It’s kind of like how trees have growth rings. Some years, we are heavily infected, others ever so slightly…

As kids, we are fed what our parents listen to. What songs were you wiggling to in the backseat of the car?

By the time we enter junior high, we have started, or will start to explore on our own. Where did you look?

In high school, it pours… we form a big growth ring. We sing, we cry, we dance, we relate. Who’s words did you relate to?

If you went to college, it’s a tropical storm… we form an even bigger growth ring. We sing on the top of our lungs with our friends, find love, lose love, and try to figure out our lives. What chorus did you lose your voice to?

Throughout the rest of our lives, music will continue shape us at various levels, whether we want it to or not.

Still don’t see the power behind music that I am talking about? Go find an old CD that you always listened to at one time in your life, but haven’t heard in a long time. Put on some headphones, turn off the lights, close your eyes, and drift to the place that the music brings you to. Feelings will flow, smells will come back to you, and memories will flood your mind. I hope I rest my case in saying that music is one of the most incredible things on this earth.

People Who Should Be in Jail…

Hopefully these 3 people will be hanging out in a jail cell sometime soon…

1) Bernie Madoff

Not much of an explanation is needed here. This guy was the force behind one of the biggest scams in history, yet is still walking the streets with that ever so menacing smile on his face that makes everyone else slightly grit their teeth and clench their fists.

2) Rod Blagojevich

Thanks Milorad for representing and leading our state so well. I’m glad that you basically ran both your election campaign’s on ending state corruption, and then had the audacity to try to sell the senate seat as if it were an Emperor’s Club prostitute. Also, nice work on missing your second deadline for filing formal answers to your impeachment charge today. Still trying to come up with a good excuse!?

3) This lady

Dear lady,
Whoever you are, what in God’s name were you thinking when you decided to turn your dog into Leonardo? Poor dog. I hope he at least got a couple bags of beggin’ strips out of this…

Jambalamjam

Nothing fancy, nothing special, nothing noteworthy, just a lil jammage…

Gummi Bear Lamp

Artist YaYa Chou made a chandelier by stringing gummi bears together because, gosh darnit, lamps should be functional AND delicious…

Best Job in the World

Coined “The Best Job in the World”, Australia’s Queensland state is looking to hire a “Great Barrier Reef Island Caretaker” at a rate of $105,000 (US) for six-months of service. What kind of service?

The “island caretaker” would be expected to stroll the white sands, soak up the sun, snorkel the reef, “maybe clean the pool” — and report to a global audience via weekly blogs, photo diaries and video updates.

The Daily Telegraph reported 850,000 people clicked on the site within the first 24 hours.

I think I found the next contest for me to enter. Gotta get to work on this!

Things

Yes, things are just things, but things that are cool things - I want in my future house, which by the way, will be filled with lots of unique, awesome things. Things like this calendar thing…

Best of 2008

Holy crapola, I’m back in action!

The top 10 things I’ll remember about 2008…

1) Engagement

After spending the previous day in the hospital with the worst sickness I have had in my life, I pulled the ultimate surprise on Katie without her having an inkling of a clue. We both knew and discussed that we would not be financially ready to take the next step in our relationship for at least a couple more years, but little did she know that I had won an engagement contest through 1-800 Flowers. On a crisp, cold morning on February 11th, I popped the question on national tv, on the front page of YouTube, and in the presence of our closest family and friends.

2) Contests

After winning the engagement contest, Katie and I went on to becoming finalists in the “Made of Honor – Get Married at the Premier” contest with a video that we made. We fell short of winning, but it was still cool being featured on Entertainment Tonight. In the following months, I wound up winning V.I.P tickets to Lollapalloza in a photography contest and then a trip to Vegas through Q101 and Sierra Mist’s Prank contest. What a crazy, crazy year!

3) Obama

Our history books have a new chapter to start writing and I hope it’s a great one. I got swept away in the months leading up to November, which was both a positive and negative experience for me. I am excited for the change, but I am also saddened about all the hatred and negativity I saw in this election.

4) Running

After registering for the Chicago marathon in February, I mapped out a training schedule on a calendar for the next 8 months. It ended up being one of the greatest experiences that I have had in a long time. Over the course of those 8 months, I got into the best shape I have been in since high school. I also enjoyed and developed an awesome relationship with nature. Thinking of those beautiful days in Busse woods and along Lake Michigan’s lakefront brings a big grin to my face. On a hot, sunny day in October, I carried all 200 pounds of me across the 26.2 mile course’s finish line. I can’t wait to do it again.

5) Traveling

Vegas with friends, Florida for Sarah’s graduation, camping in Door County, Vegas again with my dad, and an amazing cruise with my family to San Juan, St Thomas, and St Maarten. I was truly blessed last year. And to only think that this year may be better…

6) Pranks

I had a lot of fun pulling pranks this year, especially at work. Yes, I can be an a**hole at times.

7) Books
I developed an obsession with reading this past year out of nowhere. I used to be a Cliff Notes / Spark Notes kind of dude. Heck, in college I was so stubborn about reading that I gave an hour speech presentation on a book that I never read (thank you internet). So yeah, Amazon and Barnes and Noble should be sending me a thank you card for my business this year. Thank you for all those that gave me reading suggestions, please keep them coming if you read any good books.

8) Concerts

Discovering Bon Iver at Pitchfork and a great opening night by Radiohead at Lollapalooza made both those weekends memorable ones.

9) Tickets
The one downfall to my year was when I thought it would be a great idea to start buying concert tickets and sell them for a small profit. After making an easy $200 from Maroon 5 tickets, I went hog-wild and started snatching up tickets like it was my job. I mean if I can make that much with Maroon 5, I thought I’d be making thousands with all the other tickets I bought. A month later, and after going to many, many concerts with unsold tickets, I finally agreed with what Katie called me from the get go… an idiot.

10) Cubs
Dear Cubs, thank you for an awesome regular season.

Dear Cubs, #(*$& you for ruining my hopes and dreams for another year (or century for that matter).

My top 5 albums of 2008…

1) Kings of Leon – Only by the Night
2) TV on the Radio – Dear Science
3) My Morning Jacket – Good Intentions
4) MGMT – Oracular Spectacular
5) Bon Iver – For Emma, Forever Ago

My 2009 New Years Resolutions

1) Learn a new language
With my fiancée being a Spanish teacher, I definitely need to take advantage of improving my Spanish. I would also like to start learning another language. I think that being able to speak more than one language is the coolest / most useful skills someone can have.

2) Divulge more into video editing
I splurged and bought a used HD camcorder a few months ago with intentions of making some short films. I know that I’d like to make some promo stuff for my brother, who is a professional triathlete, but I’d also like to take on some other projects. If anyone has any ideas, let me know!

3) Practice my guitar more
I’ve played for about 8 years now, but have not made any progression for the past few years. I’d like to learn more about music theory so I want to attempt to spend at least 30 minutes a night watching online lessons.

4) Volunteer
I wrote about this in a previous post, but I would like to make volunteer work for specific causes / people a more important part of my life.

5) More progress on my projects
I have so many little projects and ideas on my plate that there will never be enough time in the day for me to make significant progress on them. For this reason, I definitely need to prioritize them. Keep in tune to learn more about these projects. I’m sure I’ll be writing about them.

Post Vacation Blues…

I just got back late Sunday night. I’m still pretty wiped so I need to catch some zzzz’s…

Blasts From the Past: Snippets of My Life (in e-mail form)

I save e-mails. Some are important and meaningful, while others are short snippets of insignificant blabber from the wrath of everyday life. Regardless of the importance level of these e-mails, all of them comprise into an abstract reflection of my life… sort of like a modern day journal. One day I would like to organize them all into somewhat of a coherent story. Not that anybody cares about my life, but it would be something cool to hand down to my future kids. From time to time, I will post some random e-mails that I have either received or sent…

Sadness…

(my grandma)

Sunday, November 4, 2001 10:29 AM
From: Mom
To: Jerry
Subject: Bad News

Love,
Mom
Xxooxx

That was the e-mail my mom sent letting me know my grandma had cancer. She died the following summer. It was the first time someone close to me died. Death, to me, is still one of the hardest things for to deal with and for my mind to comprehend.

Anticipation…

(my uncle al, grandpa, friend donna, and dad)

Monday, August 12, 2002 5:23 PM
From: Jeff
To: Roomates
Subject: Apt 311

jfly

That was an e-mail my friend Jeff sent out before junior year in college. It ended up being one of the best years in school for many reasons. Also, Soldier Field was being remodeled so the Chicago Bears played all their home games at our school. We have so many great stories because our families came down to all the games for some crazy times. Oh to relive that year…

A Beginning…

(one of the first nights we hung out)

Tuesday, April 8, 2003 4:53 PM
From: Katie
To: Jerry
Re: hi

Hey Jerry-
Thanks for the email- definitely a pleasant surprise! I
would love to go with you wed! If you wanna give me a call
with some details my room number is xxx-xxxx and my cell is
xxx-xxx-xxxx. Thanks again for the invite- it sounds like
fun!
-Katie

After briefly meeting Katie one night, I needed a date for an event and had a mutual friend get me her phone number and e-mail. Being the chicken I am, I opted to e-mail her to ask her out on our first date. [You can laugh and tease me here]. Anyways, this was her response back to me. Who would’ve known that 5 years later we would be engaged? It’s amazing how the events and circumstances of everything in our lives, as little as they may seem, can some times conspire into greatness.